News Below Sea Level

Dutch Minister of Social Affairs Aart Jan de Goes wants to abolish 30-50% of worker safety rules. The current worker safety rulebook is 1,200 pages long and contains many ridiculous rules, including this one: ‘‘If an office staff of eight employees includes one woman, even if she is perfectly fit and well over 50, there must be a foldable table on either side of a window on the top floor, just in case she is pregnant and needs to climb out of that window in the event of a disaster.’’ This action is part of the government’s plan to make it easier for firms to hire people. Currently, 14,000 Netherlanders lose their jobs each month. Minister De Goes is also challenging the ‘last in, first out’ formula for laying off employees, whereby the last person hired is the first person layed off. The minister says this is unfair to younger workers. With employment currently a hot political issue, Dutch newspapers predict a season of stormy labor disputes. ‘‘The Polder Model is dead’’, screamed the Telegraaf’s front-page headline, quoting FNV trade union leader, Lodewijk De Waal, who said: “We’re headed for a situation of regular conflict and the cabinet has only itself to blame for this.’’ The government plans to abolish dual citizenship for third-generation immigrants. ‘‘Making a choice for Dutch citizenship is seen as proof of commitment to this country,’’ Trouw newspaper commented. Minister of Integration & Immigration Rita Verdonk was quoted as saying, ‘‘The preaching of jihad has put acceptance of Muslims to the test. The non-immigrant native-born population tends more and more to question their loyalty to Dutch society.’’ Meanwhile, scandal has erupted at the Ministry of Education, where top civil servants are accused of fraudulently claiming expenses they weren’t entitled to. The NRC newspaper reported that ministry employees who spoke out about the misuse of funds were fired under the guise of ‘‘a labor conflict’’. Elsewhere, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs reportedly paid one million euros in ransom for the release of Arjan Erkel, a Dutch employee of the charity Medecins Sans FrontiÈres (Doctors without Borders). Erkel had been held hostage by Chechen rebels for months before being released, and now the foreign ministry wants Medecins Sans FrontiÈres to pay it back the ransom money. The Dutch national anthem, ‘The Wilhelmus’, is also at the center of a controversy. The Volkskrant reported that Queen Beatrix wants to forbid military bands from playing the Wilhelmus when visiting foreign officials arrive here, unless she’s present, which is problematic, as the Netherlands assumes the rotating presidency of the European Union on July 1st and can expect many official visits by foreign dignitaries. The Wilhelmus is named after the founding father of the Royal House of Orange, Prince William. The Queen reportedly said, ‘‘The Wilhelmus belongs to me!’’ Elsewhere, UN High Commissioner for Refugees, the former Dutch Prime Minister Ruud Lubbers, has been accused of sexual harassment, or, as the New York Times reported, of “grabbing the behind” of a female colleague. Lubbers’ wife Ria responded to the charges by saying: ‘‘I know Ruud. He can be very friendly and spontaneously put his arm around someone. Some women really like that. Women who are a bit uptight and feminist don’t.” An Internet competition has begun to select art works for the newly completed annex to the Lower House of Parliament. The artist supervising the competition said one submitted work of art, a bronze statue of a hooded Iraqi prisoner at Abu Ghraib with wires attached to his body, was unlikely to win. Dutchwoman Hendrikje van Andel-Schipper became the oldest known human being. 114-year-old Hendrikje responded to the fuss surrounding her achievement by saying: ‘‘What have I done to achieve this? I breathe, nothing more. That’s not such a big deal, is it?’’ And finally, a 61-year-old, long-time resident of Amsterdam named Eduard Daams, who now lives in the east of the Netherlands, really misses Amsterdam’s pubs. ‘‘I know many other old Amsterdammers in nursing homes who also feel homesick for their old life in the pubs. Give those poor guys a can of Amsterdam pub smells,’’ Daams said. Now, after years of experimentation, Daams is ready to market his invention. The secret formula for Daams’ ‘can of Amsterdam pub smells’ includes extracts of pig urine, imitation human sweat, tobacco and beer.

– compiled by David McMullin

Six major international Dutch companies have written to Prime Minister Jan Peter Balkenende asking him to adopt more business-friendly policies. Akzo Nobel, ING, Philips, Schiphol Airport, Shell, and Unilever argue that taxes are too high here and it’s too expensive to recruit highly skilled employees from abroad. Dutch Minister of Social Affairs Aart Jan de Goes wants to abolish 30-50% of worker safety rules. The current worker safety rulebook is 1,200 pages long and contains many ridiculous rules, including this one: ‘‘If an office staff of eight employees includes one woman, even if she is perfectly fit and well over 50, there must be a foldable table on either side of a window on the top floor, just in case she is pregnant and needs to climb out of that window in the event of a disaster.’’ This action is part of the government’s plan to make it easier for firms to hire people. Currently, 14,000 Netherlanders lose their jobs each month. Minister De Goes is also challenging the ‘last in, first out’ formula for laying off employees, whereby the last person hired is the first person layed off. The minister says this is unfair to younger workers. With employment currently a hot political issue, Dutch newspapers predict a season of stormy labor disputes. ‘‘The Polder Model is dead’’, screamed the Telegraaf’s front-page headline, quoting FNV trade union leader, Lodewijk De Waal, who said: “We’re headed for a situation of regular conflict and the cabinet has only itself to blame for this.’’ The government plans to abolish dual citizenship for third-generation immigrants. ‘‘Making a choice for Dutch citizenship is seen as proof of commitment to this country,’’ Trouw newspaper commented. Minister of Integration & Immigration Rita Verdonk was quoted as saying, ‘‘The preaching of jihad has put acceptance of Muslims to the test. The non-immigrant native-born population tends more and more to question their loyalty to Dutch society.’’ Meanwhile, scandal has erupted at the Ministry of Education, where top civil servants are accused of fraudulently claiming expenses they weren’t entitled to. The NRC newspaper reported that ministry employees who spoke out about the misuse of funds were fired under the guise of ‘‘a labor conflict’’. Elsewhere, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs reportedly paid one million euros in ransom for the release of Arjan Erkel, a Dutch employee of the charity Medecins Sans FrontiÈres (Doctors without Borders). Erkel had been held hostage by Chechen rebels for months before being released, and now the foreign ministry wants Medecins Sans FrontiÈres to pay it back the ransom money. The Dutch national anthem, ‘The Wilhelmus’, is also at the center of a controversy. The Volkskrant reported that Queen Beatrix wants to forbid military bands from playing the Wilhelmus when visiting foreign officials arrive here, unless she’s present, which is problematic, as the Netherlands assumes the rotating presidency of the European Union on July 1st and can expect many official visits by foreign dignitaries. The Wilhelmus is named after the founding father of the Royal House of Orange, Prince William. The Queen reportedly said, ‘‘The Wilhelmus belongs to me!’’ Elsewhere, UN High Commissioner for Refugees, the former Dutch Prime Minister Ruud Lubbers, has been accused of sexual harassment, or, as the New York Times reported, of “grabbing the behind” of a female colleague. Lubbers’ wife Ria responded to the charges by saying: ‘‘I know Ruud. He can be very friendly and spontaneously put his arm around someone. Some women really like that. Women who are a bit uptight and feminist don’t.” An Internet competition has begun to select art works for the newly completed annex to the Lower House of Parliament. The artist supervising the competition said one submitted work of art, a bronze statue of a hooded Iraqi prisoner at Abu Ghraib with wires attached to his body, was unlikely to win. Dutchwoman Hendrikje van Andel-Schipper became the oldest known human being. 114-year-old Hendrikje responded to the fuss surrounding her achievement by saying: ‘‘What have I done to achieve this? I breathe, nothing more. That’s not such a big deal, is it?’’ And finally, a 61-year-old, long-time resident of Amsterdam named Eduard Daams, who now lives in the east of the Netherlands, really misses Amsterdam’s pubs. ‘‘I know many other old Amsterdammers in nursing homes who also feel homesick for their old life in the pubs. Give those poor guys a can of Amsterdam pub smells,’’ Daams said. Now, after years of experimentation, Daams is ready to market his invention. The secret formula for Daams’ ‘can of Amsterdam pub smells’ includes extracts of pig urine, imitation human sweat, tobacco and beer.

– compiled by David McMullin