Most guys are forever wondering about the inner sexual lives of women. Do women have many explicit sexual fantasies like guys do, and if so, I wondered (in the interests of ‘scientific inquiry’ of course), would women be willing to talk to me about their fantasies? Thus it was that I managed to convince some ladies – after a few red wines – to tell me some of their fantasies.
Delen
And surprisingly enough, it turns out that there is a popular one! It seems the most common fantasy shared by women is ’the stranger’ fantasy, in which a woman meets up with some mystery man and goes to a place like a no-name motel for a wild night of passionate sex.
However, to ensure my empirical research data on this was correct, and before publishing my findings to the world, I though it best to ask my fellow Delta columnist Dorothy Parker for a lady’s opinion.
Dorothy: “In the realm of sexual fantasy, there is indeed one commonly recurring story line. For most women I know, this ‘stranger fantasy’ runs in one of two directions. The first requires the mystery man (all shadows with the occasional glimpse of sinewy muscle) to come to the rescue of the damsel-in-distress and sweep her away into a bed of gossamer and silks for a night of passion and whispered devotions. This is why those trashy novels always have the same cover. It’s popular, ok?
The other story, for those of us less inclined to daydream about unicorns, is something like: ‘Well here I am on the train again. God I’m bored. Damn, that guy is pretty hot over there — I wonder what he’d say if I dragged him off at the next stop and pushed him into a dark corner….’ And you can clearly see how this fantasy might develop further.
My theory is, there are two main sexual personalities (actually trillions, but these two cover a lot of ground.) You either want it, or you want to give it. This plays a major role in determining your stranger-fantasy story line, and in fantasyland we’re completely free. When I brought this up with a friend of mine, her response was, “You know, the best sex I ever had was with a band of pirates in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle.” Well, different strokes for different folks, eh?
So why do we fantasize about strangers? Because if we looked at porn most of women would be bored out of our minds. Women aren’t as visually-stimulated as men, and for us, creating a ‘perfect’ sexual encounter (whether that means pirates, knights in shining armor, traveling lute-players, whatever) is a similar way to get a thrill. Next time you’re sitting on a train in perfect anonymity and you catch a girl smiling in your direction, ask yourself how you feel about a romp in the polders…it may be just what she wants.”
Tarek: Intriguing and true that men are indeed a lot more sex-oriented in their thoughts (but there is nothing boring about watching porn!). Most men wouldn’t refuse a fling in the alley from virtually any women, and this because sex with a stranger would be a source of pride for many guys. One more shag to add to the list if you will, and a spring of instant respect between the boys. Our fantasies on the other hand are a bit different, but at the same time a lot more realistic. See, a typical guy fantasizes about having multiple women at once. Simple, rational and makes us feel much more desired and ultimately good about ourselves – something a stranger would fail to fulfill.
So while guys may fail to understand the stranger fantasy thing, hearing about it from so many different women might mean that it’s not a bad idea to just grab the next woman you see and whisper passionately in her ear: ‘I’m your stranger….’ But the truth of the matter is the offended gal would probably just slap you back to your roots! I think this is what it is about the stranger fantasy: Women like it because it’s pointless for us guys, because most women would never have sex with some stranger on a train anyways.
Tarek Ghobar is from Lebanon. The next ‘Tarek’s Diary’ will be published in Delta 20. He can be emailed at: t.ghobar@tudelft.nl.
Most guys are forever wondering about the inner sexual lives of women. Do women have many explicit sexual fantasies like guys do, and if so, I wondered (in the interests of ‘scientific inquiry’ of course), would women be willing to talk to me about their fantasies? Thus it was that I managed to convince some ladies – after a few red wines – to tell me some of their fantasies. And surprisingly enough, it turns out that there is a popular one! It seems the most common fantasy shared by women is ’the stranger’ fantasy, in which a woman meets up with some mystery man and goes to a place like a no-name motel for a wild night of passionate sex.
However, to ensure my empirical research data on this was correct, and before publishing my findings to the world, I though it best to ask my fellow Delta columnist Dorothy Parker for a lady’s opinion.
Dorothy: “In the realm of sexual fantasy, there is indeed one commonly recurring story line. For most women I know, this ‘stranger fantasy’ runs in one of two directions. The first requires the mystery man (all shadows with the occasional glimpse of sinewy muscle) to come to the rescue of the damsel-in-distress and sweep her away into a bed of gossamer and silks for a night of passion and whispered devotions. This is why those trashy novels always have the same cover. It’s popular, ok?
The other story, for those of us less inclined to daydream about unicorns, is something like: ‘Well here I am on the train again. God I’m bored. Damn, that guy is pretty hot over there — I wonder what he’d say if I dragged him off at the next stop and pushed him into a dark corner….’ And you can clearly see how this fantasy might develop further.
My theory is, there are two main sexual personalities (actually trillions, but these two cover a lot of ground.) You either want it, or you want to give it. This plays a major role in determining your stranger-fantasy story line, and in fantasyland we’re completely free. When I brought this up with a friend of mine, her response was, “You know, the best sex I ever had was with a band of pirates in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle.” Well, different strokes for different folks, eh?
So why do we fantasize about strangers? Because if we looked at porn most of women would be bored out of our minds. Women aren’t as visually-stimulated as men, and for us, creating a ‘perfect’ sexual encounter (whether that means pirates, knights in shining armor, traveling lute-players, whatever) is a similar way to get a thrill. Next time you’re sitting on a train in perfect anonymity and you catch a girl smiling in your direction, ask yourself how you feel about a romp in the polders…it may be just what she wants.”
Tarek: Intriguing and true that men are indeed a lot more sex-oriented in their thoughts (but there is nothing boring about watching porn!). Most men wouldn’t refuse a fling in the alley from virtually any women, and this because sex with a stranger would be a source of pride for many guys. One more shag to add to the list if you will, and a spring of instant respect between the boys. Our fantasies on the other hand are a bit different, but at the same time a lot more realistic. See, a typical guy fantasizes about having multiple women at once. Simple, rational and makes us feel much more desired and ultimately good about ourselves – something a stranger would fail to fulfill.
So while guys may fail to understand the stranger fantasy thing, hearing about it from so many different women might mean that it’s not a bad idea to just grab the next woman you see and whisper passionately in her ear: ‘I’m your stranger….’ But the truth of the matter is the offended gal would probably just slap you back to your roots! I think this is what it is about the stranger fantasy: Women like it because it’s pointless for us guys, because most women would never have sex with some stranger on a train anyways.
Tarek Ghobar is from Lebanon. The next ‘Tarek’s Diary’ will be published in Delta 20. He can be emailed at: t.ghobar@tudelft.nl.
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