”Only five to eleven,” Andy whispered, after consulting his watch for the fourth time that minute. He didn’t know to whom he was talking to, for nobody in the crowded cafe seemed to be paying any attention to him.
The New Year was more than an hour away and this evening was turning out exactly as he had imagined: this evening brought the miserable end, the miserable end to the past year. For many years he had harboured fear of embracing the New Year the very way he was about to.
The beers were disappearing increasingly rapidly. Andy reckoned that he%d downed five or six within the last hour. Six probably. Conscious that the blonde barmaid would notice he was alone, he had ordered two at a time and now he was empty handed. ”Who celebrates New Year alone in a cafe?” he wondered, realising that it had been his own choice. Why didn’t he smoke? After all, he who smokes has something else to do besides drink.
Obviously, most people had come to celebrate the new year with friends. Not a single thought was spared for lonely fellow human beings. Hardly anybody else seemed to be in the same boat and those people who did approach Andy made him feel even more desperate. A middle aged man stood out due to his enormous pockmarked nose and a top which was too tight and too see-through, thus revealing his nipples. He tried to engage Andy in conversation by compassionately remarking: ”Depressed? Life is a bugger, especially on these occasions.” Surprise and misery prompted Andy to pass the nipples a beer, who subsequently, followed him the rest of the evening. Though he didn%t need to piss, Andy went to the loo, but when he ordered more beers from a different place in the cafe he saw the man watching him expectantly.
***
When the champagne had been distributed and the clock had chimed midnight, people flew into each other’s arms and started dancing; the man casually approached Andy a second time. Surely he wouldn’t be the first to wish him a happy new year? What a disastrous year that would be.
The man smiled at him and cleaned the corners of his mouth with his tongue. It was too late to walk away. ”I really hope that the new year will bring you more love and beauty than the past year.” Andy nodded and resignedly allowed the man to kiss him three times on his cheeks. He smelt of perfume and Martini. His name was Otto, he was thirty seven years old, owned a gallery and had been single for the last three months. ”Goodbye, Otto,” Andy was embarrassed the moment he said it. Otto slunk away and Andy was alone again with his beers. ”Otto, who calls himself Otto, these days?” he thought.
***
It was a quarter to five when Andy stepped out of the train. Hewalked from the platform to the stairs and wandered into the night. He had held out for a long time in the cafe, longing for friends, his bed, his parents, a hot shower and anything else more amusing than spending New Year’s Eve alone in a bar. Now he walked along smouldering dustbins and babbling people slurring their words on their way home. People had enjoyed themselves here, too. Too? Enjoyed? The sound of a last fire cracker. The windowpanes of the bus stop tremble.
Then that familiar voice. Somebody called his name. For the first time this New Year somebody appeared to recognise him. Hesitantly he turned around. Familiar long coat, black knitted hat. A relieved Dirk ran towards him, stopped, out of breath, and almost immediately started his account. ”Such a dramatic evening. Definitely a miserable New Year’s Eve, if I may say so. Until this morning I wasn’t sure what to do. Anyway, I decided to break up with Maja. I told her the moment we were about to go to the party. She had already changed into her long dress. She took the news pretty badly, but I had to do something. Jesus, the discussions we had. She couldn’t believe it. Nor could I, in fact.”
Andy stared at his housemate disconcertedly. ”You broke up with her? That’s quite something. I spent all night in a pub. Alone in a terrible pub. What a person does to himself, now and then. By the way, do you happen to know where Sarah spent her evening?” Dirk shook his head. Only now Andy noticed that he was crying.
***
It was a strange experience to see a beautifully laid dinner table in the communal room of their student house. The unused napkins, plates, cutlery, the glimmering wineglasses and unburnt candles. Exactly as they had placed them ten hours ago. Sarah and Ella were already home. Ella hadn’t left the house al evening. She had put off revising for her exams for so long that she had to let new year’s Eve pass by unnoticed. Over a pot of coffee, she had tried to get to grip with the finite element method, ignoring the fireworks. It looked like she would fail the exam for a third time, next week. ”My eyes are spinning, I can’t see another formula. Such a drama, an evening like this.”
Sarah, worn out by her recently completed walk, uncorked a bottle of wine. At the beginning of the evening she had volunteered to be dropped in the middle of nowhere by a club mate. She had no money, no mobile phone, no raincoat and no clue as to her whereabouts. The pouring rain had made her face a little rougher. In the course of one evening she had acquired the appearance of a sailor on high seas. The blisters on her feet, however, were testimony to the thirty five kilometre trek.
The four housemates sat at the table. Whilst Chopin sounded in the background Andy raised his glass. ”To the miserable end,” he toasted. Ellen served her starter, ”May this be the best New Year ever” she proposed. ”No boring parties, no fritters, no fireworks, but planned misery. Only the originality of a deed will ensure that the memory lives on”. She seemed pleased with her formulation.
”Only he who has lived through real lows, who knows whatunhappiness is, can truly enjoy a tasty meal and a good conversation. We will remember this evening for a long time”, said Dirk, his full glass raised in the air. A tear rolled down his cheek.
Rik Kuiper
Translation: Alice Beurze
”Only five to eleven,” Andy whispered, after consulting his watch for the fourth time that minute. He didn’t know to whom he was talking to, for nobody in the crowded cafe seemed to be paying any attention to him. The New Year was more than an hour away and this evening was turning out exactly as he had imagined: this evening brought the miserable end, the miserable end to the past year. For many years he had harboured fear of embracing the New Year the very way he was about to.
The beers were disappearing increasingly rapidly. Andy reckoned that he%d downed five or six within the last hour. Six probably. Conscious that the blonde barmaid would notice he was alone, he had ordered two at a time and now he was empty handed. ”Who celebrates New Year alone in a cafe?” he wondered, realising that it had been his own choice. Why didn’t he smoke? After all, he who smokes has something else to do besides drink.
Obviously, most people had come to celebrate the new year with friends. Not a single thought was spared for lonely fellow human beings. Hardly anybody else seemed to be in the same boat and those people who did approach Andy made him feel even more desperate. A middle aged man stood out due to his enormous pockmarked nose and a top which was too tight and too see-through, thus revealing his nipples. He tried to engage Andy in conversation by compassionately remarking: ”Depressed? Life is a bugger, especially on these occasions.” Surprise and misery prompted Andy to pass the nipples a beer, who subsequently, followed him the rest of the evening. Though he didn%t need to piss, Andy went to the loo, but when he ordered more beers from a different place in the cafe he saw the man watching him expectantly.
***
When the champagne had been distributed and the clock had chimed midnight, people flew into each other’s arms and started dancing; the man casually approached Andy a second time. Surely he wouldn’t be the first to wish him a happy new year? What a disastrous year that would be.
The man smiled at him and cleaned the corners of his mouth with his tongue. It was too late to walk away. ”I really hope that the new year will bring you more love and beauty than the past year.” Andy nodded and resignedly allowed the man to kiss him three times on his cheeks. He smelt of perfume and Martini. His name was Otto, he was thirty seven years old, owned a gallery and had been single for the last three months. ”Goodbye, Otto,” Andy was embarrassed the moment he said it. Otto slunk away and Andy was alone again with his beers. ”Otto, who calls himself Otto, these days?” he thought.
***
It was a quarter to five when Andy stepped out of the train. Hewalked from the platform to the stairs and wandered into the night. He had held out for a long time in the cafe, longing for friends, his bed, his parents, a hot shower and anything else more amusing than spending New Year’s Eve alone in a bar. Now he walked along smouldering dustbins and babbling people slurring their words on their way home. People had enjoyed themselves here, too. Too? Enjoyed? The sound of a last fire cracker. The windowpanes of the bus stop tremble.
Then that familiar voice. Somebody called his name. For the first time this New Year somebody appeared to recognise him. Hesitantly he turned around. Familiar long coat, black knitted hat. A relieved Dirk ran towards him, stopped, out of breath, and almost immediately started his account. ”Such a dramatic evening. Definitely a miserable New Year’s Eve, if I may say so. Until this morning I wasn’t sure what to do. Anyway, I decided to break up with Maja. I told her the moment we were about to go to the party. She had already changed into her long dress. She took the news pretty badly, but I had to do something. Jesus, the discussions we had. She couldn’t believe it. Nor could I, in fact.”
Andy stared at his housemate disconcertedly. ”You broke up with her? That’s quite something. I spent all night in a pub. Alone in a terrible pub. What a person does to himself, now and then. By the way, do you happen to know where Sarah spent her evening?” Dirk shook his head. Only now Andy noticed that he was crying.
***
It was a strange experience to see a beautifully laid dinner table in the communal room of their student house. The unused napkins, plates, cutlery, the glimmering wineglasses and unburnt candles. Exactly as they had placed them ten hours ago. Sarah and Ella were already home. Ella hadn’t left the house al evening. She had put off revising for her exams for so long that she had to let new year’s Eve pass by unnoticed. Over a pot of coffee, she had tried to get to grip with the finite element method, ignoring the fireworks. It looked like she would fail the exam for a third time, next week. ”My eyes are spinning, I can’t see another formula. Such a drama, an evening like this.”
Sarah, worn out by her recently completed walk, uncorked a bottle of wine. At the beginning of the evening she had volunteered to be dropped in the middle of nowhere by a club mate. She had no money, no mobile phone, no raincoat and no clue as to her whereabouts. The pouring rain had made her face a little rougher. In the course of one evening she had acquired the appearance of a sailor on high seas. The blisters on her feet, however, were testimony to the thirty five kilometre trek.
The four housemates sat at the table. Whilst Chopin sounded in the background Andy raised his glass. ”To the miserable end,” he toasted. Ellen served her starter, ”May this be the best New Year ever” she proposed. ”No boring parties, no fritters, no fireworks, but planned misery. Only the originality of a deed will ensure that the memory lives on”. She seemed pleased with her formulation.
”Only he who has lived through real lows, who knows whatunhappiness is, can truly enjoy a tasty meal and a good conversation. We will remember this evening for a long time”, said Dirk, his full glass raised in the air. A tear rolled down his cheek.
Rik Kuiper
Translation: Alice Beurze
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