To marry a foreign guy?

Maybe a decade ago, many Chinese would’ve wanted to marry foreigners in order to get student visas or to move to a foreign country, where the economy was better. But in 2005? China today? I don’t believe this survey. Nowadays, things have totally changed, traveling abroad for whatever reason and studying abroad are much easier.

As for wanting to live permanently abroad, maybe some Chinese want to, but I don’t. My quality of life in China was much better than it is here in Holland. For one thing, everything’s extremely expensive here, sometimes even ten times more than in China!

I guess most Chinese people are just curious about life abroad and about foreigners, because only a small percentage of China’s large population travel abroad to see for themselves. All most Chinese know about foreign countries is what they see on TV, which gives general and not always accurate impressions of richer countries, more beautiful cities, cleaner air….

As for foreign marriages, I don’t think Chinese people know much about it…or at least I don’t know much about it, and I’m living abroad! A couple days ago I posted this question – “Are you willing to marry a foreign guy?” – on ‘www.6park.com’, a popular website for Chinese students studying abroad. Only one person replied that she wanted to marry a foreign guy. And one Chinese woman, named Sally, replied, “Never! Foreign guys are no better than Chinese men…except that some of them are more handsome.”

I don’t want to marry a foreign guy. A few weeks ago I tried to start a romance with a Dutch guy, but he turned out be rather weird and difficult. We met at a student party in France; he was the DJ that night. I didn’t notice him until he walked up to me and said: “Hi, do you remember me? I sat behind you on the plane.” Yeah…the 1.90m tall guy with a strange pattern in his hair, like a hippie in the 1960s, who kept hitting my seat back with his knees…. I remembered him! “I think I’ve seen you somewhere before,” he said. “You looked quite different, with a different kind of mentality.” Mentality…nice word…I smiled. “Would it be strange if I called you to go out sometime when we’re back in Holland?” he asked. It’s not bad to get to know him better, I thought, and maybe something nice will happen. Who knows? So I gave him my phone number.

We had a drink together the day after returning to Holland. It was a really nice start. I found out he was a cool guy, a painter, a DJ, a designer…. We made drawings together on a piece of paper in the bar that night. He drew his ideal house and I drew my feeling of the cup of hot chocolate. I thought I began to like him and was looking forward to seeing him again!

He invited me to dinner at a Chinese restaurant the next day. So I finished with my work quite early that day and waited for his call. 17:30…18:00…18:30…19:00…. Finally I gave him a call, but he didn’t answer. I called again. He answered: “I’m sorry, I just found out I didn’t have money with me. Sorry….” I said, “It’s ok, I’ll pay this time.” He said, “But I don’t feel good without having money with me.” No date that evening.

A week later he called me as I was on my way to shop at the Chinese supermarket. “So can you show me all the Chinese stuff in the supermarket?” he asked. I’d love to! I replied. I was so happy that we’d meet again! “Any plans for tonight?” he asked. “Not really…,” I said. It was Friday evening. I was expecting him to invite me out for dinner, a drink, whatever…. But no reply to my answer! “So what’s your plan?” I finally asked. Well, he said, “there will be an opening of my friend’s office later, and after that I’m going to a concert.” Then…? He just stopped there, no invitation to me at all! What was he thinking about? What does he want? I don’t believe I did something wrong to him. Later, I asked one of my closest foreign girlfriends, Lora, if this was normal dating behavior for foreigners? “What!” Lora exclaimed. “No way! That guy’s an idiot! But don’t be sad…you can do much better than him!” Well, thanks Lora. I hope so too.

‘Asian Girl’ Yi Ya’s next column will appear in Delta 20.

According to a recent survey by Chinese web portal, sina.com, “nearly 63 percent of Chinese citizens would like to marry a foreigner.” Really? How strange, because personally I can’t image why. Maybe a decade ago, many Chinese would’ve wanted to marry foreigners in order to get student visas or to move to a foreign country, where the economy was better. But in 2005? China today? I don’t believe this survey. Nowadays, things have totally changed, traveling abroad for whatever reason and studying abroad are much easier.

As for wanting to live permanently abroad, maybe some Chinese want to, but I don’t. My quality of life in China was much better than it is here in Holland. For one thing, everything’s extremely expensive here, sometimes even ten times more than in China!

I guess most Chinese people are just curious about life abroad and about foreigners, because only a small percentage of China’s large population travel abroad to see for themselves. All most Chinese know about foreign countries is what they see on TV, which gives general and not always accurate impressions of richer countries, more beautiful cities, cleaner air….

As for foreign marriages, I don’t think Chinese people know much about it…or at least I don’t know much about it, and I’m living abroad! A couple days ago I posted this question – “Are you willing to marry a foreign guy?” – on ‘www.6park.com’, a popular website for Chinese students studying abroad. Only one person replied that she wanted to marry a foreign guy. And one Chinese woman, named Sally, replied, “Never! Foreign guys are no better than Chinese men…except that some of them are more handsome.”

I don’t want to marry a foreign guy. A few weeks ago I tried to start a romance with a Dutch guy, but he turned out be rather weird and difficult. We met at a student party in France; he was the DJ that night. I didn’t notice him until he walked up to me and said: “Hi, do you remember me? I sat behind you on the plane.” Yeah…the 1.90m tall guy with a strange pattern in his hair, like a hippie in the 1960s, who kept hitting my seat back with his knees…. I remembered him! “I think I’ve seen you somewhere before,” he said. “You looked quite different, with a different kind of mentality.” Mentality…nice word…I smiled. “Would it be strange if I called you to go out sometime when we’re back in Holland?” he asked. It’s not bad to get to know him better, I thought, and maybe something nice will happen. Who knows? So I gave him my phone number.

We had a drink together the day after returning to Holland. It was a really nice start. I found out he was a cool guy, a painter, a DJ, a designer…. We made drawings together on a piece of paper in the bar that night. He drew his ideal house and I drew my feeling of the cup of hot chocolate. I thought I began to like him and was looking forward to seeing him again!

He invited me to dinner at a Chinese restaurant the next day. So I finished with my work quite early that day and waited for his call. 17:30…18:00…18:30…19:00…. Finally I gave him a call, but he didn’t answer. I called again. He answered: “I’m sorry, I just found out I didn’t have money with me. Sorry….” I said, “It’s ok, I’ll pay this time.” He said, “But I don’t feel good without having money with me.” No date that evening.

A week later he called me as I was on my way to shop at the Chinese supermarket. “So can you show me all the Chinese stuff in the supermarket?” he asked. I’d love to! I replied. I was so happy that we’d meet again! “Any plans for tonight?” he asked. “Not really…,” I said. It was Friday evening. I was expecting him to invite me out for dinner, a drink, whatever…. But no reply to my answer! “So what’s your plan?” I finally asked. Well, he said, “there will be an opening of my friend’s office later, and after that I’m going to a concert.” Then…? He just stopped there, no invitation to me at all! What was he thinking about? What does he want? I don’t believe I did something wrong to him. Later, I asked one of my closest foreign girlfriends, Lora, if this was normal dating behavior for foreigners? “What!” Lora exclaimed. “No way! That guy’s an idiot! But don’t be sad…you can do much better than him!” Well, thanks Lora. I hope so too.

‘Asian Girl’ Yi Ya’s next column will appear in Delta 20.