After defending her master’s thesis, Sofia Ghigliani writes about the post-deadline decompression period. Puzzling between relaxing and to-do lists, she uses her last Delta column to reflect on the anxiety and uncertainty that come with redefining one’s goals.
(Photo: Sam Rentmeester)
You are probably familiar with the decompression effect of a deadline that has passed. Whether you are one of those who, when getting close to a deadline, don’t manage to do their laundry or groceries, or, like me, one of those who keeps a regular schedule so that they can dedicate their full concentration on the goal, the post-deadline decompression will have caught us all like a black hole.
I presented my master’s thesis only last week, and still, after years of study, I am puzzled about whether I should relax or get on with my after-deadline to-do list. The presentation that I have been working on for a full year is over, and somehow – even though it culminates in the signing of a diploma, the highest reward of my studies – my body still does not understand this and keeps telling me to hurry on to the next thing. Or perhaps that is exactly why.
Admittedly, I have an ‘After P5 [final presentation] list’, with all the items that had come to mind but that I didn’t have the mental space or time to deal with, especially during the last semester. But while part of me feels the need to deal with all these items as soon as possible, another part just wants to listen to everyone who keeps telling me to take some time off and relax. Believe me, it gets even better when my parents start asking what’s next less than a week after my graduation and advise me to do something a bit more orthodox before I score a PhD. Please, someone tell me it’s not only me for whom parents and personal finance talk always get messy.
The possibilities feel endless to me, which is both scary and incredibly exciting
But beyond the financial implications of finishing studies – bye, DUO, I will forever miss you – comes a moment of quite extreme redefining of goals. Working towards a final presentation is a fine, clear goal. There are, for sure, different ways to give and work towards it, but no one will contest the need to actually give the final presentation of your master’s. Graduating, however, also means the need to redefine a goal among the many possible things one can do in life, and whatever the goal, it may be contested. Like going from a delta to the open sea, the possibilities feel endless to me, which is both scary and incredibly exciting. In not knowing exactly what to do with my diploma lies the chance to redefine my route, question my values, and – perhaps before anything – pause to look back at the wild delta I just navigated.
Right now, I have no clue whether I should watch movies for a whole week or do the to-dos that will, momentarily, give meaning to my weeks. I have no clue whether I will manage to maintain hope and try to re-understand design within academic or artistic fields, or if, within a year, I will have sold myself to the corporate world already. But for now, it helps me – and it might help you – to clean my house and change the sheets.
Sofía Ghigliani has recently graduated as a master’s student in Architecture. Born and raised in Argentina, she has since lived in various places, embracing different cultures and languages. She has an energetic presence, laughs often and loves to get out of her comfort zone, especially through hitchhiking and philosophy. This was her last Delta column.
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S.I.Ghigliani@student.tudelft.nl
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