Being the only woman in the room

I joined the Aerodynamics section of the Aerospace Engineering Faculty at TU Delft in June 2023. I have spent the past three years constantly aware of being the only woman at meetings, experiments, conferences, informal drinks and many other academic settings.

After going through moments of self-doubt, exclusion, judgement, and exposure to racist and sexist comments within the environment, accompanied by long periods of isolation, I found myself one day deciding to attend the Best Climate Action and Energy Paper Award 2025 ceremony in search of inspiration from a senior researcher.

During that ceremony, one individual immediately stood out to me: Caroline van Calcar, speaking passionately about her work with a warm and confident smile as she received the Award. Curious not only about the science, but also about the person behind it, I approached her for a conversation, and she kindly agreed.

Her research focuses on how melting Antarctic ice sheets affect future sea level rise. As the ice melts, the Earth beneath it slowly rises, a process that can partially slow further melting. By studying these interactions through advanced climate models, her work provides valuable insights for improving future sea level predictions.

I couldn’t help but wonder how easily isolation can affect confidence during research

As successful research often requires resilience and sustained effort behind the scenes, my very first question to her was about the challenges she experienced during her PhD journey. She described starting her PhD during the COVID-19 pandemic as one of the most difficult periods she experienced. Working mostly alone behind a laptop limited networking opportunities and often led to self-doubt, especially when facing coding bugs and technical issues.

Listening to her experience, I couldn’t help but wonder how easily isolation can affect confidence during research. What I found especially inspiring was her description of how, over time, coding bugs transformed from sources of insecurity into enjoyable puzzles along her research journey. This resonated with me as an example of how confidence can be built gradually through persistence and experience.

As someone who has often felt intimidated by being the only woman in the room, I found it inspiring to seek advice from someone who seemed genuinely empowered by it. She acknowledged that she had experienced inequality as a woman in a male-dominated field, yet emphasised that she always treated others equally and never allowed being the only woman in the room to intimidate her.

It left me wondering whether being the only woman in the room, can eventually become empowering through supportive environments, visible role models, and personal growth. Perhaps rather than avoiding such spaces, it is possible to grow within them and pave the way for others and future generations.

At the same time, an important question still remains: should we endure these environments at any cost, or should we allow ourselves to seek healthier and more supportive spaces?