“Many things have happened these past weeks to remind me that this can be a real tough world we live in. The loss of a loved one, a broken relationship, a failing grade or a job opportunity lost..
.such things are never easy to cope with in the best of times and in the best of places . at home, surrounded and supported by our families and friends. When personal tragedies and disappointments happen to foreign students, dealing with and overcoming them is so much more difficult. All foreign students share this one thing in common: we are alone here, faraway from our homes. And this makes our lives a lot more complicated in so many ways, especially during the first few months we are here. Of course it’s part of human nature to want to change things all the time, and new things are always more attractive and rewarding. But this is usually the case when only a few things change in a person’s life at one time…not everything! Which is what happens to us when we move to a new country to study. Almost everything around us becomes new, and coping with the change isn’t always smooth or easy. It all starts with leaving our homes and the environments we’re accustomed to and secure in. Suddenly, we’re here in the Netherlands: the people are different, the way things are done have changed, and most importantly the shoulders we’re used to leaning on for support at home are far away. It’s true that when I first came here I was excited to see a new place, to start a new life, but in the back of my mind there was this fear of a future without my family and friends, who I suddenly realized I had taken for granted. Building a new life in a foreign country is hard, but the secret to it is attitude. Forcing yourself to always consider the glass as half full saves you lots of stress and hugely influences your decision-making, even without you realizing it. Stress and frustration will always be there no matter what you do, the difference is only how you deal with it.
I’ve been working at the Industrial Design workshop for almost two weeks now, and I’ve found this to be a very good place to practice the control of frustration! Dealing with the workshop’s complicated machines and making then do what you want is one thing, but trying to do your work without the PMB workshop staff members (mean looking Dutch guys who are responsible for the workshop) making your life extra difficult, is quite another! I understand that their job is to look after the machines and our safety, but I didn’t think I was doing so bad that I now start to think my name is actually ‘Dom’! And what also adds fuel to my fire is that most of these PMB staffers don’t even speak English (or they pretend not to), so good luck trying to explain to them what you’re doing or why you’re doing it! Of course it’s true that when students are doing the wrong thing with potentially dangerous machines they should be corrected and instructed how to use a machine properly. But the way these PMB guys correct us is done in such a mean-spirited way that anger and frustration become a part of your daily routine in the workshop, where hearing them shout ‘niet doen!’ is as common in there as saying ‘hello’! Apparently I’m not the only student who complains about the nasty PMB workers. Many other students share the same feelings, but nevertheless we have no choice but to return to the workshop every morning and try to do our work, as if yesterday never happened.
This past week I also attended my first ever boxing match. The TU Sports Centrum hosted the NSK student boxing championship, and it was a very successful event. Speaking of frustration, this was the perfect way to release it, while of course hopefully not getting it released on you! I had a seat ringside for all the matches and a great view of the fighters as they slugged it out. Watching two people beat the crap out of each other was very pleasurable, at least for most matches, because without even looking at who was fighting, you could tell from the crowd’s reaction if there were male or female boxers in the ring. When the fight was between male boxers, every good punch got the crowds cheering louder, howling with bloodlust. But when we were watching a female boxer punch another female, it just seemed wrong to everyone there – the crowd just quietly groaned with sorry-looking faces. The evening’s fight card also featured a Thai Boxing series between TU Delft and Erasmus University Rotterdam. The matches were tied 2-2, but in the final match our TU Delft fighter took control, beating the Erasmus University fighter like a dog. And that’s the way it should be!”
Tarek Ghobar is from Lebanon. The next ‘Tarek’s Diary’ will be published in Delta 12.
“Many things have happened these past weeks to remind me that this can be a real tough world we live in. The loss of a loved one, a broken relationship, a failing grade or a job opportunity lost…such things are never easy to cope with in the best of times and in the best of places . at home, surrounded and supported by our families and friends. When personal tragedies and disappointments happen to foreign students, dealing with and overcoming them is so much more difficult. All foreign students share this one thing in common: we are alone here, faraway from our homes. And this makes our lives a lot more complicated in so many ways, especially during the first few months we are here. Of course it’s part of human nature to want to change things all the time, and new things are always more attractive and rewarding. But this is usually the case when only a few things change in a person’s life at one time…not everything! Which is what happens to us when we move to a new country to study. Almost everything around us becomes new, and coping with the change isn’t always smooth or easy. It all starts with leaving our homes and the environments we’re accustomed to and secure in. Suddenly, we’re here in the Netherlands: the people are different, the way things are done have changed, and most importantly the shoulders we’re used to leaning on for support at home are far away. It’s true that when I first came here I was excited to see a new place, to start a new life, but in the back of my mind there was this fear of a future without my family and friends, who I suddenly realized I had taken for granted. Building a new life in a foreign country is hard, but the secret to it is attitude. Forcing yourself to always consider the glass as half full saves you lots of stress and hugely influences your decision-making, even without you realizing it. Stress and frustration will always be there no matter what you do, the difference is only how you deal with it.
I’ve been working at the Industrial Design workshop for almost two weeks now, and I’ve found this to be a very good place to practice the control of frustration! Dealing with the workshop’s complicated machines and making then do what you want is one thing, but trying to do your work without the PMB workshop staff members (mean looking Dutch guys who are responsible for the workshop) making your life extra difficult, is quite another! I understand that their job is to look after the machines and our safety, but I didn’t think I was doing so bad that I now start to think my name is actually ‘Dom’! And what also adds fuel to my fire is that most of these PMB staffers don’t even speak English (or they pretend not to), so good luck trying to explain to them what you’re doing or why you’re doing it! Of course it’s true that when students are doing the wrong thing with potentially dangerous machines they should be corrected and instructed how to use a machine properly. But the way these PMB guys correct us is done in such a mean-spirited way that anger and frustration become a part of your daily routine in the workshop, where hearing them shout ‘niet doen!’ is as common in there as saying ‘hello’! Apparently I’m not the only student who complains about the nasty PMB workers. Many other students share the same feelings, but nevertheless we have no choice but to return to the workshop every morning and try to do our work, as if yesterday never happened.
This past week I also attended my first ever boxing match. The TU Sports Centrum hosted the NSK student boxing championship, and it was a very successful event. Speaking of frustration, this was the perfect way to release it, while of course hopefully not getting it released on you! I had a seat ringside for all the matches and a great view of the fighters as they slugged it out. Watching two people beat the crap out of each other was very pleasurable, at least for most matches, because without even looking at who was fighting, you could tell from the crowd’s reaction if there were male or female boxers in the ring. When the fight was between male boxers, every good punch got the crowds cheering louder, howling with bloodlust. But when we were watching a female boxer punch another female, it just seemed wrong to everyone there – the crowd just quietly groaned with sorry-looking faces. The evening’s fight card also featured a Thai Boxing series between TU Delft and Erasmus University Rotterdam. The matches were tied 2-2, but in the final match our TU Delft fighter took control, beating the Erasmus University fighter like a dog. And that’s the way it should be!”
Tarek Ghobar is from Lebanon. The next ‘Tarek’s Diary’ will be published in Delta 12.
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