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Column: Dap Hartmann

Party Time!

Dap Hartmann is throwing a party. He also has something to trade in.

(Foto: Sam Rentmeester)

(Photo: Sam Rentmeester)

“Party Palace Eppo Lonaîse, this is Eppo speaking. How may I help you?”

“Good afternoon, mister Lonaîse. I’d like to order some party supplies.”

“You’ve come to the right place. Are you celebrating something?”

“Absolutely! Here at TU Delft, we certainly have something worth celebrating!”

“Congratulations! What are you looking for?”

“For starters, I’d like brightly coloured balloons.”

“Our neon multicoloured latex balloons come in packs of 25, 100, or 500 pieces.”

“Great, I’ll take 5,000 balloons.”

“Wow, that’s quite a party!”

“Indeed. And we need garland streamers, real garland streamers, not those silly strings with little flags.”

“We have festive garland streamers made from flame-retardant crepe paper in 30 colours, 24 metres long and 15 cm wide.”

“Let’s see … the Mekelweg, from Julianalaan to Heertjesweg is 2,100 metres, so for garland streamers on both sides of the road, that makes 4,200 meters. I’d like 175 of those garland streamers in all the different colours.”

“Excellent choice. Anything else?”

‘I’ll take 1,500 bags of cyan coloured confetti’

“Lots of confetti.”

“We have multicoloured paper confetti in five kilo bags, recycled multicoloured confetti in 10 kilo bags, and confetti made of recycled newspapers in 25 and 50 kilo bags.”

“Do you also have single colour confetti?”

“Yes, that would be our luxury confetti. It’s 30% more expensive than the multicoloured confetti and only comes in one kilo bags.”

“Fine. I’ll take 1,500 bags of cyan coloured confetti.”

“Would you like a cannon with that?”

“Excuse me?”

“A confetti cannon. We have a special deal on the MAGICFX® Power Shot this month, the most compact confetti shooter.

Multiple MAGICFX® Power Shots can be linked using Neutrik® PowerCON cables.”

“No, I don’t think we’ll need that. But I do want 8,000 party hats and 25 kilometres of serpentine streamers.”

“Party hats come in sets of 40, in six different holographic colours, so I’ll put you down for 200 sets. And the serpentine streamers come in packs of six rolls, with each roll containing 18 strips of four metres, totalling 432 metres. You’ll need 58 packs.”

“That sounds like too little … better make it 100 packs, just to be safe.”

“Perfect. I’ll get that order sorted for you.”

AI afbeelding van drie mannen op de rug gezien, die op een stoel zitten temidden van heel veel ballonnen en op de achtergrond een menigte die toekijkt.
(Illustration: Dap Hartmann via Microsoft Bing Image Creator)

“Mr Lonaîse?”

“Yes?”

“Do you also trade in?”

“What do you have on offer?”

“An Executive Board that recently suffered a devastating fall and is now irreparably damaged. We can’t possibly use it anymore. The warranty has expired and we have lost the receipt and the user manual. We’ve tried to cope, but honestly, it’s just not working anymore.”

“I’m terribly sorry, but we don’t accept old Executive Boards because I can’t even give them away for free. They’re also hard to recycle as they’ve usually lost their flexibility and end up clogging the shredder.”

“That’s very unfortunate, because we urgently need a new Executive Board.”

“Then I suggest you contact the Executive Board Discounter in Oostknollendam. They often have great deals, and they’re not too strict about environmental regulations.”

“Thanks for the tip, Mr Lonaîse.”

“You’re welcome, and good luck!”

Dap Hartmann is Associate Professor of Innovation and Entrepreneurship at the Delft Centre for Entrepreneurship (DCE) at the Faculty of Technology, Policy and Management. In a previous life, he was an astronomer and worked at the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics. Together with conductor and composer Reinbert de Leeuw, he wrote a book about modern (classical) music.

Columnist Dap Hartmann

Do you have a question or comment about this article?

l.hartmann@tudelft.nl

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