Oma (2)

. marking down innocent Iraqi children for liquidation… Yeah, I know, collateral damage sorry an accident we didn’t mean to kill the kids… yet, yet… And then the black humor of that absurd Idols show: ‘Heeeere’s Colin!’ Powell, career bagman with… presto! …some ‘evidence’ up his sleeve!… Powell’s CIA evidence, or a $25-a-night prostitute telling you you’re the best she’s ever had… I guess we believe what we need to believe to get us through the night… But surely slaughtering innocents ain’t cool with Christ, Jan Peter… Thou shalt not kill!… remember?… or does the C in CDA stand for something other than Christian?… I’m confused, admittedly, a foreigner and an atheist… about all I know for sure is that Muslims don’t believe in Santa Claus and that at my immigrants inburgering (citizenship) class, killing wasn’t listed as a Dutch norm (norm) or waarde (value).

But enough… enough of these Christian non-combatant soldiers ordering death like pizzas, cash on delivery… I need light, life from a fine Dutch citizen… so again this week it’s Oma (grandmother) time!… Off to the bejaardenhuis (nursing home) to visit Oma van de Bos, my 94-year-old Dutch oma-in-law… a good Christian soul if ever there was one, a woman who genuinely lives her life according to Christian principles, even when it’s difficult to do so… From Oma I learned about traditional Dutch values, like for instance zuinigheid… Foolish foreigners (usually Frenchmen) enjoy translating zuinigheid as miserliness, to smear the Dutch character… but au contraire, Pepe le Pieu… the correct translation is: Waste not, want not… admirable echt Hollands… Jacob Cats & John Calvin in two-part harmony… Waste not water, food, money… my good Christian Oma never has… Sure, she lived through the Hunger Winter of 1944, when food was scarce and ”here kitty, kitty…” she killed and fed the family cat to her starving children… but Oma’s zuinigheid predates that… engrained in her from birth… Waste not, want not… First time I visited Oma’s house 10 years ago, newly arrived in Holland, I had to use the toilet… to leave a grote boodschap (an important message i.e. to crap) as the Dutch say… nearly finished, a knock on the toilet door, it’s Oma, saying, in Dutch… ”Don’t flush, jongen, I’ve got to use the toilet after you”…I sat there thinking, did she just say what I think she said!?… I couldn’t, I flushed!, blamed the misunderstanding on my poor Dutch… And now, nearing her end… 94… Oma hasn’t changed… Visiting her last week at the nursing home, I went to the kitchen to make us tea, Oma calling after me, ”There’s a tea bag on the counter you can use”…I look… the tea bag’s already been used!… ”I only used it once this morning,” she says… Why not, if it’s good enough for Oma… so I used it… and it was the first and best damn cup of secondhand tea I’ve ever had!… Waste not, want not… neither water, tea… nor innocent Iraqi lives… how could real Christians do otherwise?

Dark depressing days, February gray… made darker by our elected Christian entrepreneurs plotting their Iraq going out of business sale!… Bush, Blair, Balkenende… marking down innocent Iraqi children for liquidation… Yeah, I know, collateral damage sorry an accident we didn’t mean to kill the kids… yet, yet… And then the black humor of that absurd Idols show: ‘Heeeere’s Colin!’ Powell, career bagman with… presto! …some ‘evidence’ up his sleeve!… Powell’s CIA evidence, or a $25-a-night prostitute telling you you’re the best she’s ever had… I guess we believe what we need to believe to get us through the night… But surely slaughtering innocents ain’t cool with Christ, Jan Peter… Thou shalt not kill!… remember?… or does the C in CDA stand for something other than Christian?… I’m confused, admittedly, a foreigner and an atheist… about all I know for sure is that Muslims don’t believe in Santa Claus and that at my immigrants inburgering (citizenship) class, killing wasn’t listed as a Dutch norm (norm) or waarde (value).

But enough… enough of these Christian non-combatant soldiers ordering death like pizzas, cash on delivery… I need light, life from a fine Dutch citizen… so again this week it’s Oma (grandmother) time!… Off to the bejaardenhuis (nursing home) to visit Oma van de Bos, my 94-year-old Dutch oma-in-law… a good Christian soul if ever there was one, a woman who genuinely lives her life according to Christian principles, even when it’s difficult to do so… From Oma I learned about traditional Dutch values, like for instance zuinigheid… Foolish foreigners (usually Frenchmen) enjoy translating zuinigheid as miserliness, to smear the Dutch character… but au contraire, Pepe le Pieu… the correct translation is: Waste not, want not… admirable echt Hollands… Jacob Cats & John Calvin in two-part harmony… Waste not water, food, money… my good Christian Oma never has… Sure, she lived through the Hunger Winter of 1944, when food was scarce and ”here kitty, kitty…” she killed and fed the family cat to her starving children… but Oma’s zuinigheid predates that… engrained in her from birth… Waste not, want not… First time I visited Oma’s house 10 years ago, newly arrived in Holland, I had to use the toilet… to leave a grote boodschap (an important message i.e. to crap) as the Dutch say… nearly finished, a knock on the toilet door, it’s Oma, saying, in Dutch… ”Don’t flush, jongen, I’ve got to use the toilet after you”…I sat there thinking, did she just say what I think she said!?… I couldn’t, I flushed!, blamed the misunderstanding on my poor Dutch… And now, nearing her end… 94… Oma hasn’t changed… Visiting her last week at the nursing home, I went to the kitchen to make us tea, Oma calling after me, ”There’s a tea bag on the counter you can use”…I look… the tea bag’s already been used!… ”I only used it once this morning,” she says… Why not, if it’s good enough for Oma… so I used it… and it was the first and best damn cup of secondhand tea I’ve ever had!… Waste not, want not… neither water, tea… nor innocent Iraqi lives… how could real Christians do otherwise?