Mixed feelings

Via French Guyana and via Suriname, the team travels to the border with Guyana at Albina. The welcome by the Guyanese people is at least to say, utterly overwhelming.

Being here make me realize that this experience is showing the sometimes hard reality. The school where I’m working in is next to the camps, it created a distance to what is actually surrounding me. While waiting for the bus to take us back to Beirut we have conversations about were the children are coming from and which possibilities they have. Will there be a possibility for these kids in the future to go back home or built a life outside the camps?

Three days a week I step in the bus which brings us in 2 hours at the school where we will teach the children peace education, arts & craft and theater, dance and music. After spending +/- 3 hours at the school we head back to Beirut and leave the camps behind, realizing and knowing I can leave this environment whenever I want. I just came there as a ‘visitor’ to work with the children during my holidays. I have my plane ticket in my back pocket and leave them behind, to go back home. For them everything will stay the same, they stay in the Bekaa-valley living at the camps near the school.

With my blue eyes and blondish hair, some people see me as the rich western world which they admire. I want to hide and be invisible at these moments, I don’t want to be associated with a rich European country where we have almost everything and where we can do everything. I’m a shamed when thinking about my education and the chances I have, just because I was born and raised in a rich country, which can’t be explained by something different then luck. In the meanwhile, we are complaining about the little things in life and don’t realize what we have.

The people are really friendly and hospitable. People I spoke to about what brings me to Lebanon are appreciating and respecting what I do and they are really thankful. Which makes me shy and confused, I don’t know what to do with these appreciations. The only thing I want is sharing my experiences to make people aware of the things going on, because we life in a bubble, we have no clue what is happening. This makes it difficult to identify ourselves with people who don’t have the chances we have. There are big differences, for me its normal to fly all over the place just for a weekend or a longer period. To enjoy my time for example at the beautiful Mediterranean Sea not realizing that this sea I see as magical and wonderful can be the biggest barrier for a lot of people.

Seeing the children with wonderful talents, smile when dancing or when they proudly show their work made in the other class. Give them their sheltered life back for a moment.