The Love Doctor

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I’m currently in a relationship. Recently my girlfriend and I were making out when I noticed she looked bored. I asked her about this and she said she wanted me to be more creative. I had no idea what she was talking about (I admit, I’ve led a somewhat sheltered life until now). She then explained to me that girls are touch-activated, and that there are certain places they like to be touched, such as knees, thighs, sides, breasts, etc. I know what knees and thighs are, but what do they have to do with sex? There are very few erotic places for a woman I know. Is she just saying this or is it true? – Lost in Love
Dear Lost,

You certainly are lost. Your girlfriend has told you what she wants to make her more sexually satisfied and you’re hung up on the technicality of whether she’s lying or not! The biggest key to pleasing your partner is listening! It’s not your choice if licking her chin or tickling her feet makes her orgasm. If she likes to be touched and caressed there, your job is to use your hands and tongue on those areas. Try massages or gentle finger stimulation on each area and discover what she likes. I find it hard to believe you’ve had sex without touching those areas anyways. There isn’t only one way to the Promised Land, and you will keep impressing her if you take a different route every time! So be creative! Or remain lost!

I have been dating the same girl for four months. We’re really close, sharing many of the same interests and talking for hours. When we’re together she’s constantly rubbing against me, kissing my face and neck and stroking my arm when we hold hands. We’ve talked about sex and she said she wants to wait. I care a lot about her, and don’t want to hurt what we have. The problem that I have is that the signals she’s sending have me confused. Does she really mean no? What should I do? What should I say? – Confused
Dear Confused,

No always means no. End of discussion. But she didn’t say no. She said wait. And your choices are to wait or not wait. The sex timetable is always a woman’s call, because there are legal consequences when it’s not . I’m assuming here that you don’t want to end up in jail with a girlfriend named George? If you don’t want to mess things up, then wait. If you care about the girl in the way that you cared about the last girl you had a one-night stand with, then it’s wise to leave her, because you’re only looking for sex, and obviously she isn’t. On the other hand, if you like her and want to keep her, then approach the subject in a nice way, such as letting her know that it’s not a big deal for you, but you need to know why, because unless she can explain why she wants to wait it will negatively affecting your relationship with her. This way you put the ball in her court, and depending on her explanation, you can then decide to stay in a relationship with her or not.

Got a question or comment for the Love Doctor? Email them to luvdok9@yahoo.com. All emails are in principle for publication and may be edited for reasons of clarity or length. Real names will not be published unless expressly requested by you.

Got a question or problem with love, sex, sexuality, dating… a matter of the heart? The Love Doctor is here to help! With a PhD in ‘Loveolgy’ from the University of Life, there’s not a problem I can’t fix, no question I can’t answer, no matter how serious, strange, difficult or downright weird! Now on to this week’s questions.

I’m currently in a relationship. Recently my girlfriend and I were making out when I noticed she looked bored. I asked her about this and she said she wanted me to be more creative. I had no idea what she was talking about (I admit, I’ve led a somewhat sheltered life until now). She then explained to me that girls are touch-activated, and that there are certain places they like to be touched, such as knees, thighs, sides, breasts, etc. I know what knees and thighs are, but what do they have to do with sex? There are very few erotic places for a woman I know. Is she just saying this or is it true? – Lost in Love
Dear Lost,

You certainly are lost. Your girlfriend has told you what she wants to make her more sexually satisfied and you’re hung up on the technicality of whether she’s lying or not! The biggest key to pleasing your partner is listening! It’s not your choice if licking her chin or tickling her feet makes her orgasm. If she likes to be touched and caressed there, your job is to use your hands and tongue on those areas. Try massages or gentle finger stimulation on each area and discover what she likes. I find it hard to believe you’ve had sex without touching those areas anyways. There isn’t only one way to the Promised Land, and you will keep impressing her if you take a different route every time! So be creative! Or remain lost!

I have been dating the same girl for four months. We’re really close, sharing many of the same interests and talking for hours. When we’re together she’s constantly rubbing against me, kissing my face and neck and stroking my arm when we hold hands. We’ve talked about sex and she said she wants to wait. I care a lot about her, and don’t want to hurt what we have. The problem that I have is that the signals she’s sending have me confused. Does she really mean no? What should I do? What should I say? – Confused
Dear Confused,

No always means no. End of discussion. But she didn’t say no. She said wait. And your choices are to wait or not wait. The sex timetable is always a woman’s call, because there are legal consequences when it’s not . I’m assuming here that you don’t want to end up in jail with a girlfriend named George? If you don’t want to mess things up, then wait. If you care about the girl in the way that you cared about the last girl you had a one-night stand with, then it’s wise to leave her, because you’re only looking for sex, and obviously she isn’t. On the other hand, if you like her and want to keep her, then approach the subject in a nice way, such as letting her know that it’s not a big deal for you, but you need to know why, because unless she can explain why she wants to wait it will negatively affecting your relationship with her. This way you put the ball in her court, and depending on her explanation, you can then decide to stay in a relationship with her or not.

Got a question or comment for the Love Doctor? Email them to luvdok9@yahoo.com. All emails are in principle for publication and may be edited for reasons of clarity or length. Real names will not be published unless expressly requested by you.