The Israeli attacks on Lebanon have lasted for over a month and the death toll among Lebanese civilians has surpassed 1,000. I come from the southern region of Lebanon, approximately 15 minutes from the Israeli border, and there’s no way to describe the hell that people in this region have suffered through during the past month.
All I can do is express how I feel, and what it felt like to wake up in Delft to the fact that my country would soon be in ruins.
After the June-July exam period this year, I was so looking forward to my trip home to see my family after a year of homesickness. I needed this trip so badly, to help me make it through the next academic year here alone. My trip that never came was set for July 16 – exactly 3 days after Israeli warplanes first struck Beirut airport. When I heard the news I was convinced all would be fine, that the runway would be repaired in time for my flight. But as my departure date approached, and much sadder news came in, I started realizing my trip would never happen. Still, I kept hoping my trip would just be delayed a week or two. But a month passed, and still no trip. Now exams have started again, and the next possible chance to go will be next year.
Undoubtedly, the worst part of being away was knowing that my family was trapped in the middle of it and I could do nothing to help. I definitely would have traveled there regardless of the security situation, just to be with them. But immediately after the conflict started, all the country’s main roads were destroyed, and traveling from one area to another was nearly impossible. A $10 taxi ride to the safer northern part of the Syrian border – possibly the price of your life – skyrocketed to $400 or more. After about two weeks of bombing, my family thankfully managed to escape to the safer mountainous region of Lebanon. But immediately after they escaped, my village was hit, and the houses around ours were destroyed. The destruction of our property was miraculously limited to some shattered windows and bullet holes in the walls.
For me, the stress is unbearable. I can only imagine that the next time I return home all will be ruins. And worst yet, that the phone call I just had with a loved one could be our last. Consequently, it’s very hard to concentrate on my exams or studies, because my mind is constantly occupied with the tragedy unfolding back home. A million terrible thoughts fly through my head, and the ‘what ifs’ seem never-ending.
All this was psychological, of course, because physically, life in Holland goes on as if nothing is happening. I stayed in Delft for most of the summer, but it didn’t seem the same. Watching people here going about their normal lives was perhaps the hardest part. I didn’t really expect Dutch people to react much differently, because I know about how the Dutch mind their own business. Yet, it bothered me that so many people here didn’t seem to even try to understand the conflict; they only heard about it on the NOS Journal while waiting for the local Dutch news. Understandable, I guess, but still painful. At the TU level, I found it maddening that even at such times, during a crisis, the rules couldn’t be bent nor exceptions made. When I went to the International Office to see a counselor, I was told I still needed to ‘send an email to the student facility center to set up an appointment’, because I couldn’t just walk in and expect them to help me! Because of this, I eventually decided not to go at all, as I figured I’d probably feel better by the time I managed to see someone. The same goes for the Aerospace Faculty’s student counselors, who are available for just two hours a week during the summer months, with many unexplained cancelled sessions included. Again, understandable, but still painful.
Many factors are to blame, but I certainly blame the politicians of the countries who play with people’s lives like it’s a video game. No country should be playing God on the world stage, like the United States does, and no country has the right to defend itself from innocent civilians in a bunker, as Israel claims. I’ll keep my personal political views to myself, but I have started a forum topic on the TU Delft website based on this column and hope readers will join the discussion on this issue. Please visit forum.tudelft.nl, click on the ‘International Student Forum’, and open the topic, ‘War on Lebanon’. Finally, I can only thank all my friends who cared during these rough times. It’s true, it’s at times like these when you find out who your real friends are.
Tarek Ghobar is from Lebanon. The next ‘Tarek’s Diary’ will be published in Delta 28. He can be emailed at: t.ghobar@tudelft.nl
The Israeli attacks on Lebanon have lasted for over a month and the death toll among Lebanese civilians has surpassed 1,000. I come from the southern region of Lebanon, approximately 15 minutes from the Israeli border, and there’s no way to describe the hell that people in this region have suffered through during the past month. All I can do is express how I feel, and what it felt like to wake up in Delft to the fact that my country would soon be in ruins.
After the June-July exam period this year, I was so looking forward to my trip home to see my family after a year of homesickness. I needed this trip so badly, to help me make it through the next academic year here alone. My trip that never came was set for July 16 – exactly 3 days after Israeli warplanes first struck Beirut airport. When I heard the news I was convinced all would be fine, that the runway would be repaired in time for my flight. But as my departure date approached, and much sadder news came in, I started realizing my trip would never happen. Still, I kept hoping my trip would just be delayed a week or two. But a month passed, and still no trip. Now exams have started again, and the next possible chance to go will be next year.
Undoubtedly, the worst part of being away was knowing that my family was trapped in the middle of it and I could do nothing to help. I definitely would have traveled there regardless of the security situation, just to be with them. But immediately after the conflict started, all the country’s main roads were destroyed, and traveling from one area to another was nearly impossible. A $10 taxi ride to the safer northern part of the Syrian border – possibly the price of your life – skyrocketed to $400 or more. After about two weeks of bombing, my family thankfully managed to escape to the safer mountainous region of Lebanon. But immediately after they escaped, my village was hit, and the houses around ours were destroyed. The destruction of our property was miraculously limited to some shattered windows and bullet holes in the walls.
For me, the stress is unbearable. I can only imagine that the next time I return home all will be ruins. And worst yet, that the phone call I just had with a loved one could be our last. Consequently, it’s very hard to concentrate on my exams or studies, because my mind is constantly occupied with the tragedy unfolding back home. A million terrible thoughts fly through my head, and the ‘what ifs’ seem never-ending.
All this was psychological, of course, because physically, life in Holland goes on as if nothing is happening. I stayed in Delft for most of the summer, but it didn’t seem the same. Watching people here going about their normal lives was perhaps the hardest part. I didn’t really expect Dutch people to react much differently, because I know about how the Dutch mind their own business. Yet, it bothered me that so many people here didn’t seem to even try to understand the conflict; they only heard about it on the NOS Journal while waiting for the local Dutch news. Understandable, I guess, but still painful. At the TU level, I found it maddening that even at such times, during a crisis, the rules couldn’t be bent nor exceptions made. When I went to the International Office to see a counselor, I was told I still needed to ‘send an email to the student facility center to set up an appointment’, because I couldn’t just walk in and expect them to help me! Because of this, I eventually decided not to go at all, as I figured I’d probably feel better by the time I managed to see someone. The same goes for the Aerospace Faculty’s student counselors, who are available for just two hours a week during the summer months, with many unexplained cancelled sessions included. Again, understandable, but still painful.
Many factors are to blame, but I certainly blame the politicians of the countries who play with people’s lives like it’s a video game. No country should be playing God on the world stage, like the United States does, and no country has the right to defend itself from innocent civilians in a bunker, as Israel claims. I’ll keep my personal political views to myself, but I have started a forum topic on the TU Delft website based on this column and hope readers will join the discussion on this issue. Please visit forum.tudelft.nl, click on the ‘International Student Forum’, and open the topic, ‘War on Lebanon’. Finally, I can only thank all my friends who cared during these rough times. It’s true, it’s at times like these when you find out who your real friends are.
Tarek Ghobar is from Lebanon. The next ‘Tarek’s Diary’ will be published in Delta 28. He can be emailed at: t.ghobar@tudelft.nl
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