Education

Hoop dreams

The TU campus is dead on weekends’ boring… and we’ve all heard how budget money’s tight right now at TU Delft… blah, blah, … Delta articles damn near every week about foreign students who can’t find rooms..

. whine, whine… so I put my thinking cap on, figured out how the TU can get rich quick!, liven things up around here, solve its housing problems… Basketball!… TU Delft needs a revenue-producing university basketball team! The proven US university cash-cow… Right now, running a close second in US TV-ratings to Pentagon TV’s ‘Bushwhacking of Iraq’… is the NCAA College Basketball tournament, a 64-team tournament to determine which US university’s basketball team is #1!#1!#1!… BIG MONEY for US universities… CBS TV’s $6 billion, 11-year contract to broadcast university basketball games pays American basketball-playing universities millions of $ per year!… moo… And all TU Delft’s got to do to milk that money tit too is guarantee me 10% of my plan’s future earnings, give me $25,000 in $100 bills, a 9mm Glock, seven sexy Dutch call girls’ and off I go into America’s heart of darkness, its ghettoes, to recruit black American high school basketball stars for our new TU basketball team!… Some cash for their single mammas, a little Dutch call girl lovin’… “just sign here on the dotted line, Darryl”… and me & my basketball boyz are flying first-class back to Delft!… Where TU Delft does what US universities do… “makes exceptions”, lowers its academic admission requirements so our basketboyz with 11-year-old reading levels can be admitted and make us mountains of moolah!… no classes, exams… just basketball practice, 14 hours-a-day, the American way!… We’ll name our team the TU Delft “Fighting Africans”… respectful… Unlike Notre Dame, a US university that calls its sports teams the “Fighting Irish”, even though its basketball players are black & on their black backs the university makes its million$!… Then, when our team of Fighting Africans are ready, we start trash-talk challenging America… ‘General Tommy Franks wears pink lace underwear!’… “Our French basketball team is the best in the world!’… French? Trust me, it’ll work… Americans hate France… And Americans are morons when it comes to world geography… the majority’ll think Delft is the capital of France!… and if they don’t, we’ll pay CNN to convince them!… So now, millions of fat white US über-patriots are mad-dog howling, demanding Dubya send America’s best college basketballers ‘over there to kick some French freedom-hating butt!’… And quicker than you can say ‘the oil fields are secured!’, we’ve got ourselves a World University Basketball Championship game!… US TV networks paying TU Delft at least $20 million to televise it!…’ Live, from the TU Sports Centre!… TU Delft pockets the cash (less my 10%, natuurlijk!)… builds brand new foreign-student housing… And then the TU does that all-American university blaxploitation thing and flunks our black boyz out!…’ bad grades, Darryl, no diploma for you!’… Only 30% of black basketball players at US universities graduate!… So our TU basketboyz get one-way tickets back to the ghetto and we laugh our asses off all the way to the bank!… beau-ti-ful… African-American college basketball slaves, a guaranteed US university moneymaker!… And for the TU too!… Brilliant plan, huh?… I await the TU President’s phone call

The TU campus is dead on weekends’ boring… and we’ve all heard how budget money’s tight right now at TU Delft… blah, blah, … Delta articles damn near every week about foreign students who can’t find rooms… whine, whine… so I put my thinking cap on, figured out how the TU can get rich quick!, liven things up around here, solve its housing problems… Basketball!… TU Delft needs a revenue-producing university basketball team! The proven US university cash-cow… Right now, running a close second in US TV-ratings to Pentagon TV’s ‘Bushwhacking of Iraq’… is the NCAA College Basketball tournament, a 64-team tournament to determine which US university’s basketball team is #1!#1!#1!… BIG MONEY for US universities… CBS TV’s $6 billion, 11-year contract to broadcast university basketball games pays American basketball-playing universities millions of $ per year!… moo… And all TU Delft’s got to do to milk that money tit too is guarantee me 10% of my plan’s future earnings, give me $25,000 in $100 bills, a 9mm Glock, seven sexy Dutch call girls’ and off I go into America’s heart of darkness, its ghettoes, to recruit black American high school basketball stars for our new TU basketball team!… Some cash for their single mammas, a little Dutch call girl lovin’… “just sign here on the dotted line, Darryl”… and me & my basketball boyz are flying first-class back to Delft!… Where TU Delft does what US universities do… “makes exceptions”, lowers its academic admission requirements so our basketboyz with 11-year-old reading levels can be admitted and make us mountains of moolah!… no classes, exams… just basketball practice, 14 hours-a-day, the American way!… We’ll name our team the TU Delft “Fighting Africans”… respectful… Unlike Notre Dame, a US university that calls its sports teams the “Fighting Irish”, even though its basketball players are black & on their black backs the university makes its million$!… Then, when our team of Fighting Africans are ready, we start trash-talk challenging America… ‘General Tommy Franks wears pink lace underwear!’… “Our French basketball team is the best in the world!’… French? Trust me, it’ll work… Americans hate France… And Americans are morons when it comes to world geography… the majority’ll think Delft is the capital of France!… and if they don’t, we’ll pay CNN to convince them!… So now, millions of fat white US über-patriots are mad-dog howling, demanding Dubya send America’s best college basketballers ‘over there to kick some French freedom-hating butt!’… And quicker than you can say ‘the oil fields are secured!’, we’ve got ourselves a World University Basketball Championship game!… US TV networks paying TU Delft at least $20 million to televise it!…’ Live, from the TU Sports Centre!… TU Delft pockets the cash (less my 10%, natuurlijk!)… builds brand new foreign-student housing… And then the TU does that all-American university blaxploitation thing and flunks our black boyz out!…’ bad grades, Darryl, no diploma for you!’… Only 30% of black basketball players at US universities graduate!… So our TU basketboyz get one-way tickets back to the ghetto and we laugh our asses off all the way to the bank!… beau-ti-ful… African-American college basketball slaves, a guaranteed US university moneymaker!… And for the TU too!… Brilliant plan, huh?… I await the TU President’s phone call

Editor Redactie

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